https://www.spiritedbytruth.com/spirited-community-blog daily 0.75 2023-01-04 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1580268953490-CWGX09UDXMH8M2JCQZI3/20200128_193456_0000.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG https://www.spiritedbytruth.com/spirited-community-blog/2020/2/5/struggle-love monthly 0.5 2020-03-31 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1580958566795-CQTLNOFX9Q80L82SYV9F/20200205_190749_0000.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - Struggle Love Now that we have established that struggle love is merely a colloquialism for Codependent & Emotional Manipulator (Narcissist) relationship we can gain more understanding in the next blog why and how these relationships come about in the first place. Can you relate to the cycle above? Does all this sound too familiar and you do not know why you find yourself attracted to partners who are incapable of loving you back? Stay Tuned to Next Week’s Blog “How a Codependent is Created.” It is time to look at yourself and answer the deep burning question of “why does this keep happening to me and how can I do better?” Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Much love Spirited Community! Until next time. Stay Spirited. Stay True to Self, Alexandra Samuel-Sturgess, LCSW Spirited Community https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1581213814229-8RQDIKF1HHNB92BFKKN2/20200208_180035_0001.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - Struggle Love 1) Struggle looks like your partner is unemployed, not actively seeking work, and you constantly having to help your partner financially. 2) Your partner is not willing to commit to you fully because you need to “act right” and yet you stay in the relationship anyways. 3) Your partner can be violent, emotionally and verbally abusive, but you tell yourself you are “strong”, and you can handle it. 4) Your partner has been found cheating on several occasions and still keeps in contact with other women, but you become over-forgiving to keep him. 5) Struggle love means you are in an unreciprocated relationship and it is based on your partner benefiting from your actions. 6) Struggle love leads women to attach their worth and validation to making their partner happy, and if they do not, they feel guilty or ashamed. 7) Struggle love is you are willingness to jeopardize all your hard work to support your partner’s risky illicit lifestyle despite how this might endanger or harm you. 8) Struggle love is you seeking a project in another individual in hopes to “fix them” or if you feel the individual has “potential” you will go out your way to try to mold them to your expectations, to a fault. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1580954763281-CNXYN1X4XVV76VJO0I5P/image-asset.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - Struggle Love https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1581391151074-54PU4S0FUQC8XTNM5ARM/20200210_191435_0002.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - Struggle Love Now that we have a basic understanding of struggle love let’s dive deeper as to what this all really means. If you have ever been in any relationship similar to what is listed above or currently find yourself in this type of relationship, there is a psychological word for this type of relationship pattern called (say it with me loud) “CODEPENDENCY.” I know, struggle love sounds so much more fun and exciting. But, is struggling to be visible and loved in a relationship something worth striving form? Let’s call a spade a spade, it is not struggle love it is Codependency! Codependency is an individual disorder expressed in relationships. Codependents hyper-focus on giving their love, respect, and care freely and abundantly to others while feeling undervalued, dismissed, or not demanding the same from others. Codependents want reciprocity and mutuality in relationships, but do not know how to get it. Codependents struggle with their own self-love and worth, which they only find value in these areas if someone else gives it to them. Codependents are attracted to a main type of person usually someone who is an emotional manipulator (we will discuss the why later in the series). The cycle of struggle love is the same as a codependent & emotional manipulator relationship cycle: https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1581213781664-W80XHOQYZCTBHX9WJH6F/turquoise.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - Struggle Love Struggle Love, it is a term that has surfaced in the past couple of years to describe a woman who constantly finds herself in relationships with men who do not have their affairs in order. Struggle Love pays homage to the ride “Ride or Die Chick.” Both terms are definitely not endearing, however these types of messages are constantly part of the socialization of women. From a young age, women are put in positions of caregiver and somehow it is hardly ever mentioned how a partner is supposed to care for them in return. It is a patriarchal message that basically states, “you have to produce or perform in order to receive love from another person.” You have seen the displays everywhere from reality tv shows, to Beyoncé and Jay-Z imitating Bonnie and Clyde, Kim Kardashian in response to criticism of Kanye West tweeting “I will always ride for my man.” What happens to the woman who is always “riding” for her man? What happens to her mental, physical, and spiritual health by always focusing on other’s needs? What happens when struggle love becomes exhausting and burdensome? There are also countless movies that put women in the position to always have unconditional love for her man. There are not too many movies or videos that show a woman who is constantly cheating, have some sort of addiction, not able to work or care for herself, or does not show value to her partner. If there is such movie the woman is often criticized as lazy, not a good woman, a horrible mother, a gold digger, or selfish. However, in struggle love when men are in this same situation we are told to “work with him,” he is a good man, just having bad luck,” “he is your child’s father keep him” or “you better have sex with him often because there will always be another woman who will.” All of these statements are fear-based messages that women learn at an early age about relationships. In struggle love a woman might find herself constantly lying about her status of her relationship. She might find it embarrassing that she is actually taking care of a man and child-rearing a grown man, while he is at home in another woman’s DM’s or playing video games all day. Struggle love looks different for many women, however, here are a few commonalities: https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1580954365513-PRB0EIOIIS03PKYZCED8/purple.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - Struggle Love https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1580954444304-PUKK2OIHIP36JNW6UX3A/peach.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - Struggle Love https://www.spiritedbytruth.com/spirited-community-blog/2019/5/26/the-benefits-of-therapeutic-group-sessionsd monthly 0.5 2019-05-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1558934238935-WTMJ3DDKT9XOO24EI573/20190526_221444_0001.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - The Benefits Of Therapy Groups Let’s be real being a new mother is hard! Dealing with life is hard! Being a woman in this world is hard. Therapy Groups allow for individuals to not feel alone in their journey. It is a great way to hear different perspectives and to gain more insight into your own situations. It provides the opportunity for you to not only be heard, but for you to rally around your sistah in need and show love! Other members of the group often help you come up with specific ideas for improving a difficult situation or life challenge, and hold you accountable along the way. Group healing sends the message that “We are all in this together.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1558934202868-YHM6R912DA6H5MZGC2I5/20190526_221444_0000.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - The Benefits Of Therapy Groups Here are Five FAQs answered about the great benefits of Therapy Groups aka Communities. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1559105280963-1X7X47V72HO2FSH6DEHB/20190528_214243_0003.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - The Benefits Of Therapy Groups Therapy Groups are beneficial to individuals who may not have the means to pay for full fee individual therapy. You get the best of both worlds. You still get a skilled, licensed professional to assist you with evidence-based practices, but at a cheaper expense. If your desire is to truly learn how to heal and gain better coping skills, then you might want to consider joining a Therapy Group. If you want to connect on a real level and save money consider joining a Therapy Group. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1558926399907-1ORH5RRXO3GIE9WM6HPN/Adobe_Post_20190526_190847.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - The Benefits Of Therapy Groups https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1558934305912-HLZP8SXCAJEFML5MKGTC/20190526_221444_0004.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - The Benefits Of Therapy Groups It is time for you to be heard, in a safe space, with many supportive hands on deck. Your pain, your steps toward healing, your challenges, and your life experiences all deserve attention. Therapy Groups provide you with the platform to say what you need to say and be supported. Many people suffer from mental imbalances, groups allow for you to vocalize these experiences, versus suffering in silence. Be heard, in order to be better. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1558934329403-E6HWS0CY28YQP6IV2BM5/20190526_221444_0005.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - The Benefits Of Therapy Groups Diversity is another important benefit of joining a Therapy Group. People have different personalities, backgrounds, and they look at situations in different ways. By seeing how other people tackle problems and make positive changes, you can discover a whole range of strategies for facing your own concerns. This is a win-win because once again you get to hear other perspectives and add healthy coping tools to your life management box. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1558934264127-CP71W9CKUC9JUML9JY7C/20190526_125543_0002.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - The Benefits Of Therapy Groups Ok, so I am sure you have heard on the news or on media outlets on whether or not social media is a foe or a friend. Here at Spirited By ruth, we believe it is a little bit of both. Social media has been linked to feelings of Depression and Anxiety for the simple fact that you have access to millions of people, yet you still feel alone. Many women I have worked with have talked about their desire to have “girlfriends” and supportive people they can rely and relate too. Therapy Groups provide an opportunity to meet new people and connect on an authentic level. It also provides the opportunity to gain new relationships with others and self. https://www.spiritedbytruth.com/spirited-community-blog/2019/4/7/welcome-to-the-spirited-mama-tribe-blog-b5h6x monthly 0.5 2019-05-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1555788824103-QY77O3FZ9UGKHDNUPMMH/Adobe_Post_20190420_123207.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - Welcome to the Spirited Mama Community Blog “Being part of this tribe is for Birth Mothers, Earth Mothers, Spiritual Mothers, God Mothers, Grandmothers, Auntie-Mamas, or any Mothering archetype you identify with at your core.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1555793392947-97XNLOFDG0ZRAL4D8V1N/Adobe_Post_20190420_134555.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - Welcome to the Spirited Mama Community Blog Spirited Mamas know that No One Has More authority over their life than they do, and they are the one in driver’s seat. Spirited Mamas also recognize the need for partners in the process of healing. Spirited Mamas are responsible for their own healing and becoming allies in the tribe to gain support. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1555793579013-CVM5TBCHD6I67WPCF6N8/Adobe_Post_20190420_134429.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - Welcome to the Spirited Mama Community Blog Spirited Mamas believe in the power of creating community. Spirited Mamas understand that they are not alone in this fight for equity, healing, compassion, and love. The Spirited Mama Tribe knows without of shadow of doubt community is necessary to laugh, cry, and feel safe doing both. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1555793495352-2LJET1TH4OHJR6PTEUG3/Adobe_Post_20190420_134744.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - Welcome to the Spirited Mama Community Blog Spirited Mamas recognize the importance of examining their thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors. Spirited Mamas are encouraging, uplifting, mindful, and loving towards the Tribe. Spirited Mamas work on healing their spiritual wounds and are intentional about feeling empowered to speak up, being assertive, and understanding that their voice matters! Spirited Mamas work towards positive self-esteem, self-confidence and assertion in order to change their own narrative. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1555793538152-PEPTF0249DHD5ECP9231/Adobe_Post_20190420_134459.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - Welcome to the Spirited Mama Community Blog Spirited Mamas recognize the empowerment and resiliency that comes from their spirituality. Regardless of their belief system, Spirited Mamas do not neglect their spiritual health. Spirited Mamas understand their connection with the divine is required in order to grow and is a great source of hope and perseverance. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1555793356560-BQYMS0V63G3UITBGNAS0/Adobe_Post_20190420_134603.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - Welcome to the Spirited Mama Community Blog Spirited Mamas seek knowledge and truth in understanding their rights and gaining information that allows for a boost in decision making power. Education is one of the most important means of empowering women with knowledge, skills, and self-confidence necessary to participate fully in the birthing, postpartum, motherhood process. Spirited Mamas truly believe knowledge is power and once equipped are hopeful for a more positive motherhood experience. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1555793435177-4EKFWIQRY1DZ68ROGN33/Adobe_Post_20190420_134720.png SPIRITED COMMUNITY BLOG - Welcome to the Spirited Mama Community Blog Spirited Mamas are provided the facts and are capable of making healthy choices when it comes to their health. Spirited Mamas exercise their right to choose what is best for them. Autonomy and providing options to women is powerful. 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Values | Glossary https://www.spiritedbytruth.com/mommy-burnout daily 0.75 2019-10-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1566277328134-8QKNH4D43JV5PW8X4L1U/image-asset.png Mommy Burnout https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1571686764886-8EP7RHHDME5UCUKF2GIG/20190821_202232_0000.png Mommy Burnout https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1566274454645-F54629OYKZOAVG8DMDHC/image-asset.png Mommy Burnout https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1566274503392-WBJV34TBZJZTSXJNK7V2/peach.png Mommy Burnout https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1566276931419-E2HI3QONPOTBZX170BDI/20190819_202503_0000.png Mommy Burnout https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1566277527062-9JRIT58QVSAIT8HIG7EX/20190819_215805_0000.png Mommy Burnout You are tired ALL THE TIME. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1566277543643-K76CKHXME4YVTAST8GSR/20190819_215806_0003.png Mommy Burnout ….. you sit alone and cry because you feel overwhelmed. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1566277555592-Z9VY78ACS52SVRRFSKO1/20190819_215806_0002.png Mommy Burnout Frequently short tempered with your kids. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1566277565718-6MSH7TT8UH5BOH7KKB9B/20190819_215806_0001.png Mommy Burnout You constantly beat yourself up as a mother. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1566446927793-5PMB5I3P8H2FPENOY880/image-asset.png Mommy Burnout https://www.spiritedbytruth.com/codependency-recovery daily 0.75 2020-01-29 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53a0eb82e4b091cafcd7f8c3/1579974454019-GGDGVN9ND0J2TPGLXCXL/yellow.png Codependency Recovery 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